Audit Senior meets Audit Associate


Horny Bastard likes Sarah Palin
July 9, 2009, 11:31
Filed under: Senior | Tags: , ,

I can’t stand name-droppers. People who seemingly unpretentiously drop names of famous people in their conversations. Oh they’re pretentious all right. And so very deliberate in their name dropping.

I don’t get why people name-drop. Does it boost their egos in any way? Do they think that others will think better of them or that it impresses chicks?

Newsflash: Chicks don’t dig name-droppers. At least auditors don’t.

Case-in-point. My horny bastard client casually name-dropped Sarah Palin:

I’m really glad that Sarah Palin quit as Governor of Alaska and is aiming high. I would love to see her run for president. You know, just the other day my sister’s friend’s brother-in-law’s nanny who used to work for Sarah says she’s such a gem.

Oooooh, so I see we’re going on first names now huh.

Guess what? My brother’s ex-girlfriend’s neighbour’s dog used to play with Barney, who’s now the White House Dog. He thinks Barney’s a real chum.

Beat THAT sucker.

Ok I didn’t say that, but I would have LOVED to. Instead I said, oh really, that’s so sweet. Uggh. I’m disgusted with myself.

I hate that we have to be nice to these moronic clients. Horny Bastard did not stare at my boobs for once today. Maybe this granny-like black suit did the trick. Black suits are so boring – and so typical of auditors. Yet, they do come in useful at times like these.

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These assets are not under audit
July 8, 2009, 11:07
Filed under: Senior | Tags: , ,

God, I could just strangle some clients…with my bare hands. My hands are pretty small so imagine the pent up frustration that is required to do the job. I always seem to get the dumb and annoying clients. Dumb clients are bad enough. Blood pressure shoots up.

Dumb + Annoying client = Coronary damage for Auditor

This dumb client I have now has no clue about accounting standards. He keeps asking me even basic questions. How do these morons even get the job???

“Is this a post balance sheet adjusting event”? >>> Go read the bloody standard.

“How do we adjust for it?” >>> I am not doing your work for you.

Idiot. Do I look like your ACCOUNTANT??? I’m your friggin AUDITOR. I audit your work. What’s the point of me doing your work for you and thereafter auditing it?

Added to the fact that he is as dumb as a doorknob, he is also friggin annoying. He’s left me 20 messages in my voicemail. The bloody firm gives me a basic minute mobile subsidy, it’s not sufficient to cover even a fraction of his calls to me. And he expects me to respond pronto pronto.

If all these aren’t enough, I also think he is a horny bastard. I’ve caught him staring at my boobs not once, not twice but THRICE already….and that’s today alone. I do not attribute it to the push up bra I was wearing (I was gonna meet Axl for a nice dinner after work so naturally I was dressed up) cos he’s done so on other days when I was wearing turtlenecks too. But he does it soooo discreetly and his eyes shift soooo fast, it’s difficult to ascertain for sure.

AAAARRGGHHH.